


Malfunction At The Junction

by TheAuthor44



Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24993100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAuthor44/pseuds/TheAuthor44
Summary: An intimate moment sends Max to the ER, and you won't believe what got them there.
Relationships: Zoey Clarke & Max Richman, Zoey Clarke/Max Richman
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	Malfunction At The Junction

**Author's Note:**

> I have never laughed so hard while writing ...  
> Special thanks to Jade4813 for inadvertently inspiring this one <3
> 
> Enjoy!

Zoey shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She’d had some pretty disastrous stories from her dating life, but none of them had ended up in the ER. Gathering her courage, she looked up at Max, who was laying in the fetal position on a gurney, holding an ice pack to his groin.

“Is … is the ice helping?” she asked, hesitantly.

“Nope.” Max groaned out.

A lot had happened in such a short amount of time, it was a lot to process.

“I bet you, one day … we’re gonna laugh about this.” Zoey said, trying to make the best of a very bad situation.

* * *

_3 hours earlier …_

It was a bright, beautiful Saturday afternoon … and Zoey couldn’t care less. She was too busy moping around her apartment. Sitting down on her couch, she checked her phone for the umpteenth time that day; frowning when she still saw no messages from Max. They had finally started dating, and it was pretty great. Now when they had dinner and movie nights, it ended with some heavy make-out sessions – but _nothing more_. Max had suggested that they don’t tell anyone yet about their change in relationship status if it would help take some of the pressure off; Zoey of course agreed.

Sneaking around like teenagers was hot and all, but she wanted more. She had been expecting it the night before, after their date. That didn’t end up happening. Though she had given herself the usual pep talk in the mirror, Zoey ended up drinking too much wine with dinner; a bottle and half to be precise. She was so far gone, she didn’t even remember how she got home. All she knew is that she woke up in bed, alone, fully clothed. Mission _not_ accomplished. Just as she was debating whether or not to be the first one to reach out, there was a knock at her door. Zoey opened it to see Max on the other side. He wasted no time marching in, rambling as he did so.

“I have been sitting in my apartment all morning trying to figure out what to say. Then I realized - this is probably not a conversation to have over text, or messaging, or FaceTime. What I need to say is definitely better done in person.”

“Max…” Zoey started to say, but he cut her off – taking her hands in his own.

“Last night was a disaster, and it was all my fault.” He said.

“Your fault? No, I’m pretty sure this one is all on me.”

“Are you kidding? I was so nervous I was sweating through my shirt. That’s why I kept running to the men’s room. I was standing under the hand dryer.”

“I was so nervous I drank copious amounts of wine. I didn’t even notice you were gone.”

“So … last night _you_ wanted to…” Max trailed off, with Zoey quickly finishing his sentence.

“Yeah. I mean, it feels … like the appropriate time?” She ended on a question, but there didn’t seem to be any question about it.

“Definitely. I mean we’ve been _us_ for a couple of weeks now and, while that’s all been amazing…”

“It couldn’t hurt to … kick it up a notch.”

“Yeah,” Max said, leaning on her kitchen table. “so then why couldn’t we?”

“I don’t know about you but, I was a little worried that … if it wasn’t as amazing as everything else that we do …” Zoey walked over, taking the spot right next to him.

“You know what our problem is? We think too much.” Max said. Zoey nodded in agreement.

“Historically, we are known as _very_ powerful overthinkers.”

“Exactly. So, what I think we need to do is…” Max said, leaning over to place a gentle kiss where Zoey’s neck met her shoulder, “… let’s not think.” he mumbled into her skin. Zoey’s eyes rolled back as Max started sucking on that same spot, before moving up towards her earlobe.

“Do you wanna ‘not think’ in the bedroom?” she managed to get out. Max stopped to look at her.

“Yes, bedroom. Definitely bedroom.”

Zoey leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, kissing him like her life depended on it. Max returned the kiss excitedly, maneuvering them towards her bedroom. Clothes were haphazardly discarded on the way. Max placed Zoey down gently on the mattress before climbing on top of her.

Everything after that, seemed to happen in slow motion. It was like one of those love-making scenes on tv; kisses, touches, panting moans, and heads thrown back in ecstasy. Max didn’t leave one part of her untouched by his lips. And every inch of him seemed to fit perfectly, as it rocked back and forth sending waves of pleasure through her whole body. It was seeing stars and every other amazing sexual cliché. Zoey was so close to climaxing until, as he was thrusting, Max slipped and ended up colliding with the pubic bone in her groin instead. Suddenly Max stopped his movements, burring his head into her stomach as he let out a squeak followed by a loud groan. Zoey laid there confused, thinking he had finished without her.

“Max … everything okay?” She felt his head nod ‘no’, never lifting it from her stomach. “Aw, it’s okay, really. It happens to a lot of guys…” Zoey ran her fingers through his hair, trying to be comforting, but he still didn’t move. She awkwardly shifted out from underneath him, getting concerned when Max just let his head fall to the bed. “Max?”

“Zoey, something’s wrong. Somethings very, _very_ wrong.” He finally managed to get out, groaning as he moved himself to a more upright position. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw what he was referring to.

“OH MY GO- I have to call 911!” Zoey screamed, rushing to get dressed as she looked for her phone. She ran out of the bedroom to retrieve it from the couch, where it had been discarded in frustration. When she returned to the room, Max had somehow managed to get his boxers back on. As he saw her start to dial, he reached out his hand.

“Don’t call an ambulance.” He exclaimed.

“I have to…”

“No ambulances, you know how I feel about them.”

“Okay not to be insensitive, but this would be a really great time to get over your childhood trauma.”

“Who sends an eight-year-old in the ambulance to watch their grandfather die!” Max shouted.

“That is so not the point right now! Fine. If you don’t want an ambulance, then how are you going to get to the hospital?” Zoey asked.

“Car…” Max said, in between deep breaths.

“And how are you going to get down the flight of stairs to the car?”

“I’ll walk … just … help me get dressed.” Max looked like he was doing Lamaze breathing as he moved to stand up. Zoey had to catch him before he almost fell over, and only moved once she was sure he was balanced. Not thinking jeans would be the best choice for his condition, Zoey gave Max a pair of sweatpants from college to wear. They were a little short on him, cutting off at the knees, but they did the trick. Slowly but surely, Max was determined to walk all the way downstairs. Unfortunately, he only made it as far as Zoey’s front door before almost passing out from the pain.

“Can I call an ambulance now?” Zoey asked, looking down at him as he leaned against the wall hunched over. Before Max could answer, Mo and Eddie came strolling out of his apartment.

“Please don’t tell me you made him go jogging again.” Mo said, getting more suspicious as he walked closer. As he looked between her sex hair, and his mismatched pants, it painted a pretty obvious picture. “Oh … _oh…_ ”

“Yes Mo, Max and I are dating.” Zoey said, as she rubbed comforting circles on his back.

“Oh, you’ve been doing more than that by the looks of it.” Mo’s coy smile was not appreciated under the circumstances.

“Why is he like that?” Eddie asked, pointing to Max who had managed to lean his hands on his knees.

“Well … while we were … something happened.” Zoey could feel her face getting hot, but now was not the time to get embarrassed.

“What? Did you ride him so hard you broke it?” Mo joked, laughing until he looked at Max’s face. “Oh god. I always said, watch out for the quiet ones.”

“Why didn’t you call an ambulance?” Eddie said.

“Dude … just don’t.” Max immediately regretted his decision to speak, as he retreated back to his hunched over position letting out another pain filled groan.

“I have to get him to my car, but he can’t walk down the stairs.” Zoey explained.

“I have an idea.” Mo said, disappearing into his apartment before returning with a surfboard. Zoey gave him a look, wondering what Mo of all people was doing with a surfboard. “Don’t judge, it was a short-lived phase, and an even shorter love affair. I pay too much for my hair to ruin it in salt water.”

“What are we going to do with that?” Max asked, wishing that he hadn’t a few minutes later.

Mo and Eddie each lifted an end, with Max laying on the surfboard as a makeshift gurney. Zoey walked in front of them, watching as Max tried to hold onto the board with both hands.

“It’s not that bad right. Like getting it caught in a zipper…”

“No penis, no opinion.” Mo said loudly, silencing Zoey as they made their way down the last few steps. Eddie and Mo helped Max to his feet, and then walked him all the way to the car.

“Mo, as usual you’re a life saver.” Max said.

“I’ll pray for you.” Mo replied, right before Zoey drove off to the hospital.

* * *

“I bet you, one day … we’re gonna laugh about this.”

Max just buried his head further into the pillow. Feeling brave Zoey walked over to his bedside, running her hands through his hair again. She liked how it was becoming a habit. She’d never had that before, as she never gotten comfortable enough with anyone she was dating to even form habits. But it was different with Max, it was always different.

“Max, I…” she started to say, but was interrupted by the doctor pulling back the curtain wall.

“Mr. Richman. I hear we’re having some phallic issues.” He said, approaching the foot of the bed.

“No offense, but the last thing I want right now is a funny doctor.” Max winced, as he rolled onto his back.

“May I?” The doctor walked over, reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants. Zoey turned around to give them privacy, but she had a pretty good idea of what was happening based on Max’s sounds. “Looks like a penile fracture. I’ll need to send you up to urology so they can run some tests.”

“You can’t just bandage me up and send me home on some heavy-duty painkillers?” Max asked.

“I’m afraid not. An injury like this often requires surgery…”

“Surgery!” Zoey exclaimed, turning around and immediately averting her eyes before continuing. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Your boyfriend will be fine. You’ll just have to rely on less physical activities for a while. Look at it this way, it gives you plenty of time to get to know each other.” The doctor said, before leaving and pulling the curtain back to its original place.

“Should I be offended by the last thing he just said?” Zoey asked, as Max pulled the sweatpants back up.

“You have to love the irony.”

Zoey handed him the ice pack, which Max sheepishly took and placed back on the sensitive area. Both stayed in an awkward silence for a moment before they tried to speak at the same time - laughing at their faux pas.

“You first.” Zoey said.

“I just wanted to let you know, before _this_ , being with you was one of the best experiences of my life. I don’t want you to think for a second that I regret it.” Max looked so sincere; Zoey wanted to cry. Here he was in so much pain, and still found time to be so sweet and worry about her feelings.

“I feel like we’re cursed. First, I couldn’t admit my feelings, then my dad died just as we were getting started, and now … this.” Zoey wiped a tear from her eye before continuing. “Not that I really even believe in signs, but these seem like big ones to ignore.”

“I see it the other way. I think all the greatest love stories have obstacles to overcome. The more obstacles we face, the more I know we’re gonna make it. I love you – even a broken penis can’t change that.”

Zoey’s breath hitched when he said that. Of course, she _knew_ how he felt, but he hadn’t actually said the words out loud.

“Glad to hear it. And I know this might not be the best time to say this but, um …” Zoey started to say, once again getting interrupted by someone pulling back the curtain.

“Max Richman? I’m here to take you up to urology.” The nurse said.

“Can you wait just one second? Zo? What were you gonna say?” Max asked.

“I was just … going to tell you that it was amazing for me too. You know, before the…” Zoey replied, gesturing at his injury with a sheepish smile.

“Right. Okay well, I don’t know how long this is gonna take...”

“I’m here. I’m staying right here.” Zoey gave him a kiss before the nurse wheeled him out of the ER. 

As she sat in the waiting area, Zoey hoped Max would have a speedy recovery. After all, the second time’s the charm.


End file.
